hmm haiz im boredd lah. i know ive got alot of stuff to do but i just dont feel like doing anything. ive become really unmotivated. not like the past me. i think ive really changed alot, mebbe for the worse. its like im sinking into this sea not becos someones trying to drown me but cos im drowning myself. and i cant help it. two years ago i wouldnt have seen this message on my phone and get really emotional. two years ago i wouldnt have cried while trying to study cos i cant put aside other stuff in my head. but i dont know if changing like this helps or not. cos on one hand it seems like i get to see the real side of the world better, but on the other hand im actually suffering. not just my grades and stuff, but the way i see things now.
the only things that keep me alive now are few but meaningful. and i guess i need to really learn how to treasure them, cos they are starting to mean ALOT to me. i know im not the same, but somehow i dont regret it. cos i feel really thankful and lucky to have these happenings in my life. perhaps i should start using these as my source of motivation.

cos theres always a bright light at the end of the tunnel that leads me to you. :)